Funny things happen when you sleep.....

Funny things happen when you sleep. Of course there is the uncontrollable drooling. This was most embarrassing in high school when the teacher would wake me up and I would be laying in a puddle, lift up my head and my entire cheek is soaking wet. Very cute.

The next best thing would have to be the jolt. Sometimes this happens with just an arm or maybe a leg, but when you're really lucky it's an entire body jolt! This happens to me most when I have a dream that I am falling. For some odd reason this tends to happen when there are a lot of people there. Like at a friends house when I fall asleep on the couch watching TV. When you do the entire body jolt it instantly wakes you up and of course the first thing you do is look around to see if anybody notices what a fucking weirdo you are, they do notice. It would be nice to pretend that nothing happened, but it is just so damn funny it is hard not to laugh, even at yourself. My husband often does the entire body jolt, it gets me every time.

Finally we have sounds. Depending on what you are dreaming, your sound could range from a moan, to a cry, a deep breath or that weird silent scream. Again, these are all very funny. But we all know what the best and the funniest is, and that is the sleep fart. You hope that this does not happen when anyone is around, but it does. I never intentionally fart in front of my husband, I would like for him to think that I don't fart at all, but the sleep fart ruins this option for me. There I am, sleeping peacefully, looking like the beautiful angel that I am and he thinks to himself, "what a lucky guy I am", and then PFFFFFT! I usually wake up, and there is no denying it. I am caught.

Pervs on Facebook

Today, like every other day, I checked my facebook page. I had a friend request from an old guy I had never heard of in my life. It said we had a mutual friend and when I checked to see who it was, I was not surprised to see that it was one of my many girlfriends who usually has a profile pic of herself in a bikini, or some other suggestive photo. This happens quite frequently, and I know it happens to many other girls on facebook and other networks. Usually I will just ignore the old perv, deny his friend request and get on with my day. For some reason, today I decided to take a look at his profile and see what kind of life he leads. Here's what I found.

This old perv graduated highschool in 1977, if my math is correct that means he was born around 1959 and is old enough to be my dad. However, he seemed to be quite successful. He is currently the Senior V.P. of his bank in Washington DC, before that he was co-founder and CEO of another bank in DC, was an executive to many banks before that, and the list of jobs went on all the way back to when he was a paper boy on a bicycle. Then I noticed that he is married and his wife is one of his friends. She looked to be a pretty normal lady, and attractive for her age. Does she wonder why her husband has over 1,000 friends and the majority of them are hot young girls with barely any clothes on?????

What is wrong with people? And by people I don't just mean the old perv. I also wonder why these girls like to expose themselves to dickwads like this. I mean, seriously, I'm not being an asshole, but where do they think this will get them? Do they think that by having 50 million "friends" that they will somehow advance in life? Do they understand that this guy is looking at their picture while wacking off to the computer? (Excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth and swallowed it) Anyway, this was just one of the many random thoughts I had today and thought I would share.